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He’s written over 20 books, including the New York Times number one bestselling book of the last decade, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. It’s only after disappointment: “Oh, they’re not perfect. I thought that would happen.” That bumps down the serotonin back to the level of “Every human being is flawed and imperfect.” But every human being has beautiful qualities, wonderful qualities.His books have sold more than 50 million copies in 50 different languages around the world. You know the old saying of, is the glass half full or is it half empty? When you can see the fullness along with the emptiness, then you’re a happy, fulfilled person, and that’s what our relationships can train us to be. I kind of took that idea from the time management courses, where they’ll often say people spend 80% of their time wasting it on things that aren’t productive and 20% of the time on what’s really earning a living and being most productive.If we’re playing cards with friends it will bump her progesterone up.So these are different types of relationships and activities that will stimulate different hormones.Unlike Seducers, Cinderfellas are not trying to sexually exploit women, and are generally pretty nice guys.

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I call my new discovery "Cinderfella" -- the middle-aged single man with an insatiable hunger for intense emotional and physical intimacy. Other Cinderfellas were always emotionally empty and they may even blame their wives and significant others for failing to meet their vast emotional needs.

You may have seen him on TED, Oprah, Larry King, Dr. What I see is that people will often spend 80% of their time and energy trying to make their relationship work, rather than switch it around and have a life that’s providing 80% of your fulfillment, your friendships, your worth, your self-love, your prayer, your personal growth, your exercise, your diet. Then what happens is you look to your partner for 20% of your fulfillment, and it takes you to a higher level. Forty years I’ve been teaching this stuff, and every year it evolves.

Oz, Good Morning America, The Today Show, and many more. One of my big messages in the new book is that men, we have to realize you cannot make a woman happy. I mean, talk about an easy relationship: just call her and she’s happy. Once they settle in, you really have to have good relationship skills in order to bring this up again and again and again. I learn better and better skills to have a great marriage, lasting romance, great passion, as well as healthy hormone levels.

But this type of man is not really emotionally available; rather, his insatiable need for instant intimacy says far more about the emotional void in his life than it does about his desire to be in an emotionally secure and reciprocal relationship.

In many respects a Cinderfella is far more dangerous than his solely-sex-seeking cousin, the Seducer -- a type of man who comes with bright red warning signs.

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