Greetings online dating
So instead of stating the obvious (“you look like a small child and I enjoy sexing small children”), point to what it was that attracted you to their personality (or at least the fragment of their personality that they put on the internet).Oh and just to be clear: Commenting on how a woman could be your Nubian queen or your sweet Oriental flower is not substantive.I’ve been documenting OKCupid atrocities for a while now, and a lot of themes crop up in the terrible messages that daters send me for, um, critiquing.This is how to send a semi-decent online dating message in nine easy steps.Make sure your spelling and grammar are perfect; sounding illiterate is a huge turnoff.And avoid texting shortcuts like the letter u for the pronoun, and the letters u-r; they don’t fare well in first messages, with the exception of “haha” and “LOL.” Include a few specific interests of yours; messages that do almost always get more responses than those that don’t.
Avoid physical compliments, especially if you’re a guy writing to a woman.
But even if there’s a recognition that we, like almost every other adult human being, sometimes enjoy having our genitals touched, there’s no need to go all porno upon first introduction. Until you’ve gone actual porno in real life, leave the porno-chat alone.
No one wants to date sad-sack, and no one wants to hear about your terrible past dating life the first time they talk to you.
Move on to someone who’s interested in people of your gender, location, age, etc.
The beauty of internet dating is that we all get to specify what we want.