Infp men and dating
Now I have talked to many people entering into relationships over the years and I have heard all kinds of reasons for falling in love.Things like physical attractiveness, having a good sense of humor, making good money, being a nice person and physical attractiveness (okay, I said it already, but I hear it a lot).As a result of this kind of “values check,” people like April, 74, and her husband went into marriage knowing they were aligned on important issues: We both had strong commitments in feeling that we owed something back…to the community, not only of resources but of time.We both loved to travel, and we had a sense of adventure. We had very similar values in terms of our kids and what we wanted for them.To my surprise, their advice was nearly unanimous: Opposites may attract, but they don’t usually make for great and lasting marriages.Based on their long experiences both in and out of romantic relationships, the fundamental lesson is this: And if you’re very different, the elders warn although that marriage can work, is likely to be much more difficult.’ I understood this in my second marriage, and it’s been wonderful for 24 years.
In other words, if you’re a free spender, marry somebody who understands that. Whether the wife purchases an expensive camera or the husband a new golf club is not the core issue in what can become a monumental fight, but rather the deeper attitude toward what money means, how it should be spent and whether the financial interests of the couple are more important than indulging an individual whim.
The research findings are quite clear: marriages that are homogamous in terms of economic background, religion and closeness in age are the most stable and tend to be happier.
Sharing core values has also been found to promote marital stability and happiness. On the one hand, the elders agree that someone who is generally similar in upbringing, general orientation and especially values is the single most important thing in choosing a mate.
It turns out that our elders believe there’s something close to a “magic bullet” when it comes to deciding in a relationship: “Should I stay or should I go? But first, let’s take a look at conventional wisdom. Look at Romeo and Juliet coming from two perpetually feuding families.
Or Tony and Maria in “West Side Story,” one Polish-American, the other Puerto Rican, and as different as they are they can’t resist one another.