After throwing myself into the deep end and signing up for 10 different sites in the first two weeks, I eventually settled on three regulars and upgraded my membership on one. I felt like I was waving kittens and ovaries in front of everyone. Part of the rush of online dating is seeing the new message icon. I sent my friends constant updates on my ranking within the site. let me know how long it takes you to get out of the shower, because I was there for an hour and a half before I felt clean again.And the more you’re online, the more people message you, boosting your ego all the more. Of course, it’s just as easy to creep someone out regardless of how much they look like their grandmother. It’s funny and gives you good insights into everyday aspects of life that we’ve all noticed and lived through. The article lists that use sequential art-based scenarios to provide side-splitting examples of the topic at hand are among the best of what this site’s content scribed by wryly observant authors has to offer.
One self-described clairvoyant did a reading on me and described me as an “abandoned building with a candle burning inside in one of the rooms”. Perhaps I could lend them some of the myriad terrible opening liners I’ve seen.
Like the woman who told me I had “eyes that tell me we would make love and make rockets explode in the sky”. You can never really be sure about someone until you meet them in person.
Or my personal favourite, “you have cute eyeballs”. Looking back, while I met people that could fit into each of those categories — I also made some genuine friends along the way.
Take the 19-year-old whose opening line was “nice breasts”.
Surely people can come up with something a little more original than that? I suppose that’s why online dating has the stigma it does.